Greek Life
Seven chapters on the hill above the south gate, each with more than a century of tradition behind its letters.
Every house goes by the word its letters spell, and every house picked them a century ago, when nobody was thinking about it. CHAD, KEG, SIMP, ANON, BRAT, THOT, GOTH. They know.
The chapters
Fraternities host social events; sorority houses are alcohol-free and have live-in house directors. Hazing is prohibited and investigated personally by the Dean of Students.
Frats throw the parties. Sorority houses are dry, so sororities party at the frats. Hazing is banned, Dean Barb investigates it herself, and it still happens behind closed doors.
ΧΑΔ · est. 1872
Hornell's oldest fraternity. Alumni include a governor, two senators and many members of the Board of Trustees.
Gave up fighting the name in the '90s; the shirts say STAY CHAD. The president is named Chad and does not find it funny. Phones go in a basket at the top of the Vault stairs.
ΚΕΓ · est. 1911
A fraternity known for its open social events and its strong engineering membership.
$5 for guys, free for girls. On probation five times in ten years. After every win over Climax State a couch goes out a second-floor window onto a bonfire. Home of Shirtless Tanner.
ΣΙΜΠ · est. 1923
The highest chapter GPA on the Row, the lowest dues, and a free community brunch every Sunday at 11.
Bleat calls every nice gesture on campus “a SIMP move.” The brothers leaned all the way in: Simp Sunday is the best brunch in Hornell, and Basement Shows are $3 on Thursdays.
ΑΝΟΝ · est. 1971
A co-ed house without rush or pledging, known for the murals on its greenhouse walls.
No roster. You're a member if the house says you are. Half of campus thinks ANON runs @hornyu.unfiltered. ANON sells “WHO, US?” stickers.
ΒΡΑΤ · est. 1903
Hornell's oldest sorority, with a long tradition of leadership in business, law and media.
They never say the nickname and correct you with “Beta Rho” in a tone that ends conversations. Rumor says they keep the Book: decades of notes on every frat guy on campus.
ΘΟΤ · est. 1934
A sorority of student-athletes, nurses and the Spirit Squad, and the reigning Greek Week champion.
They print “Theta O” on everything. It has never once worked. The Greek Week cheer is now just the letters, screamed. Nobody backs them with money, so they fundraise with car washes and outdrink everyone.
ΓΟΘ · est. 1997
Re-founded in 1997, the chapter is home to many of Hornell's artists, performers and women in STEM.
The only house that picked its letters on purpose. Other sororities call them the witches; they put it on hoodies. Hallura sells out in four minutes. The president is Karen. She goes by Lilith. She will correct you.
Hornell Parents' Association
The Parents' Association welcomes families every Homecoming with a brunch on the Quad. All parents are members.
The Parents' Association is chartered as Mu Iota Lambda Phi and has no idea why its Homecoming banner gets photographed so much.
Secret societies
Hornell University does not recognize any secret societies.
One night every April, twelve juniors wake up to a sheepskin spray-painted gold on their doorstep. Members supposedly meet in the Cathedral under the Quad and have included half of Hornell's presidents, three governors and a suspicious number of hedge-fund managers. No member has ever confirmed it. The ones who brag aren't in it.
